


fall in front of everyone

by skunkanon



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Humor, M/M, fluff and comedy, outsider pov, rated T for swearing it's otherwise gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 14:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30140877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skunkanon/pseuds/skunkanon
Summary: He’s not the type to play matchmaker, but if he has to hear Tubbo describe how soft Ranboo’s hair looks one more time, he’s going to block both of them.
Relationships: Ranboo/Toby Smith | Tubbo
Comments: 33
Kudos: 381





	fall in front of everyone

**Author's Note:**

> nsfw people dni.
> 
> This is technically IRL, but it's not speculation. I just think outsider POVs are funny- it's all fiction! Next fic I'll be back to my AU-writing ways.
> 
> tw with as few spoilers as possible: there's a point where someone thinks they've been outed to their friends- they mostly haven't? Someone assumes, and they confirm it because they're worried, so they do lose a bit of agency in coming out to their friends. It's not malicious, it's cleared up quickly, and no one responds negatively.

From what he remembers, Tubbo is still 16 when he starts acting weird, and when Tommy gets the first hint of the hell he is about to experience. (Looking back, he thinks it was December, if only because the last few days of November would've been fast even for Tubbo.)

"Did you ever think about what it'd be like to fall in love in front of everyone?" Tubbo keeps working on whatever he's been doing while they've been in a mostly silent call together. "Before you got all famous and stuff, you always planned on blowing up."

Whenever Tubbo is worried about something, he gets a weird lilt in his voice, and that's how Tommy knows now isn't the right time for him to make a joke about women. Yet.

"You falling in love, Big T?"

"Course not." Tubbo says, a little strained. "Just thinking."

"Huh. I guess I never worried about it? I don't have to tell Twitch Chat about what I do off stream unless I want to."

Tubbo hums. "What if they were someone you streamed with, though?"

Tommy runs through people in his head. There aren't any names from the morning lobbies or Tubbo's personal projects that jump out to him. He's sure he'd notice if Tubbo was flirting with one of their friends in front of him.

Tubbo must catch on to his train of thought in the silence. "Like I said, there's not anyone! I've just been thinking. It's bound to happen eventually."

Tommy hums. "I probably wouldn't worry about it too much, still. I'd just keep the wooing off stream, yeah? Of course, she might have trouble hiding how much she likes me, but I think it'd blend into how much all women love me."

"Sure, big man." Tubbo snorts.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

* * *

The weather is still chilly, but Christmas has passed when gets a more complete picture of what he's been missing. There's a Tubbo + Ranboo compilation on his Youtube recommended feed, which he jokingly sends to Tubbo without watching.

Tubbo starts typing, stops, then starts again.

It is at this point that Tommy makes the dumbest choice he thinks he's ever made. Every moment in his life has led up to One Horrible Choice. One terrible discord message.

 **Tommy** : I see what you've been up to

Funny. Clever. Joking about Tubbo replacing him when in reality they're both busy. Suffering from success.

 **Tubbo** : oh shit

_What?_

**Tubbo** : am i that obvious?

 **Tommy** : what?

 **Tubbo** : .

 **Tubbo** : can we vc

He starts the call.

"Tubbo," he asks slowly, "What the fuck?"

"Uh." Tubbo coughs. "What did you mean by that?"

"I said I saw what you've been up to."

"Yeah, I got that."

"People are talking about you replacing me with a new right-hand-man on twitter."

"Oh! Yeah, huh." The discord call distorts Tubbo's laugh. "Funny."

"What did you mean, Tubbo?"

"Don't worry about it, big man! If you didn't notice anything, who cares?"

"Tubbboooooo," He draws out. "What did you think I noticed?"

"It doesn't matter. Don't look too much into it."

Tommy looks back at the video. Scrolls. There's a comment about Tubbo and Ranboo making plans for Valentine's Day. He thinks back.

_"Did you ever think what it'd be like to fall in love in front of everyone?"_

"Tubbo. Do you like Ranboo?" He asks incredulously.

Tubbo splutters and denies the accusation, but it is too late.

"Ohhh my god. You like a faceless streamer boy. You're a simp, Tubbo!"

"Hey! I am not!" Tubbo replies.

"Sure, sure. Do you still have time to call? Ranboo might go live any second now!"

"Shut up! This is why I didn't tell you, I'm never gonna hear the end of this."

"No, you are not!" He cackles.

Tubbo groans. Once he's gotten his laughter down, he waits for Tubbo to say something. He doesn't.

Ah.

"Uh, Tubbo?"

Another groan.

"You know I don't mean that in a shitty way, right? I don't care who you like."

"Yeah, course. Does that mean you won't tease me too much?" Tubbo asks hopefully.

"Hmmm." Tommy pretends to think aloud. "No."

"No? Why not?" Tubbo whines, which is a reassuring enough response for Tommy to go back to ribbing him wholeheartedly.

* * *

Tommy is wrong about who is going to regret that moment.

He is so, so wrong.

Every day. Every fucking day, he wakes up to see messages from Tubbo about Ranboo. They watched the office together. They both ate pizza at the same time! Ranboo fell asleep on call! Ranboo called it a date, do you think he likes me back, Tommy?

Tubbo is his best friend. If he thinks about it, he's glad Tubbo trusts him so totally with all the details about something he wants to keep secret. But jesus christ, he does not want to hear another fucking word about how pretty Ranboo's eyes are, or how sweet he was when he tried to explain what a Chili's was. Cheetos? _Cheetos_? How does a crush make you excited to try chemically flavored corn puffs?

His one saving grace is that everyone else he knows is also aware of what's going on, save for Ranboo and Tubbo, because they do a real shit job hiding it.

Tubbo may have sworn him to secrecy, but the experience of watching Niki slowly turn towards the camera while Ranboo and Tubbo argue over where to build their houses in the new SMP? It was incredible to watch the exasperation he was feeling unfold on someone else's face, if only because it made him realize he wasn't the only person slowly losing his mind from over-exposure to pining.

Eventually, Jack Manifold messages him too.

 **Jm** : i'm gonna lose my mind

 **Jm** : "if they recognize the otamatone they'll know who it was for!"

 **Jm** : tommy

 **Jm** : tommy help

 **Tommy** : what am i supposed to do

 **Jm** : idk. I can't live like this, tommy

 **Tommy** : they'll figure it out

 **Tommy** : everyone else has. Dw about it

 **Jm** : i would worry about it less if they didn't flirt on my stream

Contrary to his best guess, they do not figure it out. It keeps happening. It happens on their streams, and Tubbo calls him afterwards to ask if he'd been too pushy, if singing for him was too much. It happens in Ranboo's chat, and afterwards Tubbo sends him panicked messages. It happens on other people's streams. Multiple times. It never seems to stop, especially when Ranboo's caught up on his homework- A detail Tommy couldn't care less about, but has to know regardless, all because he decided to send Tubbo a youtube video. Regret.

* * *

Tommy finally has enough when Tubbo abruptly messages him the word "help" without context at 6 in the morning, and he instantly drops getting ready for class to figure out if he's okay.

**Tommy** : ???

 **Tubbo** : we are sharing a bedroom

 **Tommy** : ?????????

 **Tubbo** : me and ranboo's house in minecraft

 **Tommy** : jesus christ.

 **Tommy** : never message me help again

 **Tubbo** : foolish asked

 **Tommy** : and you went with one room

 **Tubbo** : we are married

 **Tommy** : did you tell him you like him yet

 **Tubbo** : no

 **Tommy** : vc

Tubbo picks up on his call. His camera is on. Tommy doesn't give him a chance to speak.

"Please. Please tell him."

"Hello to you too, Tommy."

"Seriously. Tell him."

Tubbo groans. "I can't." He whines, drawing out the syllables. "Tommy, you don't understand."

"I absolutely do. I have to sit through understanding every fucking time we talk, you have to ask him out."

Tubbo sets his face in his hands, lets out a little whine and mumbles something.

"Tubbo."

"... things are good right now, I don't want to mess them up."

Tommy pauses.

"Wouldn't things be better if you could tell him how much you liked him, instead of me?"

"It's too soon."

"Tub, you call him for eight hours a day. You're on an eight hour difference. Do the math. There is no too soon."

Tubbo shakes his head and spins a little in his chair.

Tommy stares at him and waits.

"You can't make fun of me."

"I can and will."

Tubbo sighs.

"I'm worried that if I do something now, he'll feel like he can't say no."

"... That's stupid."

Tubbo starts to talk again, but Tommy cuts him off. "No, really. Both of you have your own things going on, if he decides he doesn't want to be on the SMP anymore he can figure something else out."

"Oh god, I didn't even think of that!"

"What?"

"It could make him want to leave!"

"What were you thinking of?"

"I was th-" Tubbo stops and slams his mouth shut.

"Tubbo."

Tubbo is turning red.

"Tubbo," He says again, drawing out the vowels. "What were you thinking of?"

Tubbo mumbles again, but this time, Tommy can barely make it out. "South Park."

"Tubbo, I'm gonna murder you, and then your boyfriend."

Tubbo groans and pitches forward until his face is on his desk.

"What the fuck, Tubbo?"

Tubbo mumbles something, but Tommy only catches the end. "-nd then they have to keep dating cause otherwise people will make assumptions about why they aren't, and if one of them is a bad person."

Tommy stares blankly at his computer, long enough for Tubbo to turn and peer at him.

"You realize no one has to know what happened, right? If he says no, you two don't have to tell anyone, ever."

Tubbo nods. "But it would change things. I'd change, I don't want him to be uncomfortable. And people will wonder why."

"Let them wonder? You've literally never cared about this."

"I still don't." Tubbo scrunches up his face. "But Ranboo does. I don't want to make him choose between pretending like we do now or pretending like nothing happened."

Tommy doesn't have a good response to that.

"That sucks." He replies.

"Yeah."

His alarm rings. He's got to leave in 10 minutes. He tells Tubbo as much, says goodbye, and ends the call.

It eats away at him on the walk to college. He doesn't want to think about the conversation, but he keeps coming up with better things to say. He has tried to convince Tubbo before that Ranboo obviously likes him back- he should've brought that up again, even if Tubbo didn't believe it.

* * *

The next day, he calls Tubbo while they do work, and tries to subtly convince him he doesn't need to worry so much. As he expected, Tubbo doesn't listen. He leaves to get on the SMP, doomed to another day of watching his friends pine over each other.

Karl had asked for extra hands to gather materials for a big TftSMP project that had to get built on the server, which is how Tommy finds himself in a call with Jack and Ranboo, grinding out oak logs and diorite off stream.

"I think we should be a duo, Tommy." Jack bonemeals some trees next to him. "I don't know if we could work it into the lore, but Niki's got the syndicate now, we could be nemeses."

Tommy snorts.

"Not everyone can have what Tubbo and I have, Jack." Ranboo says. "You gotta let go."

"Ew. I don't want what you and Tubbo have. Definitely not with Tommy, no offense."

"None taken."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

"Means we're both straight, Ranboo."

The call goes silent.

It takes a few seconds before Tommy's brain catches up with his mouth.

"Um." Ranboo is quiet. "Neither of you are live, right?"

"No, no, course not." Jack assures him quietly.

Ranboo sighs.

"Sorry." Tommy says awkwardly. "I just got off a call with Tubbo earlier."

"Tubbo told you about that?" Ranboo asks, his voice high and hurt.

"No! Not- Not like that." Tommy rushes. "Uh."

"Tubbo never shuts up about you, mate." Jack explains, still chopping wood. "It can drive a man mad."

"Okay?"

"Tubbo's gonna murder me." Tommy says. "I meant cause you too are... y'know? I shouldn't have said anything."

Ranboo makes a choked noise Tommy honestly can't describe. "It's fine. No big deal."

The call goes quiet again.

"You know what?" Tommy asks. "Fuck this. You gotta make a move on Tubbo, big man."

He hears something that sounds suspiciously like Ranboo spitting out water, then, "What?"

"He's not gonna make a move, but if I have to third wheel on my own stream ever again I'm gonna fly to the US and punch you."

Jack speaks up. "Tubbo is a lot closer. No travel restrictions. And he's way worse about it. He played the otamatone on my stream and talked about Ranboo for half an hour the other day."

"I'm not gonna punch Tubbo for being gay, Jack! I'm not a fucking homophobe."

"No, but you literally just-" Ranboo starts. "... Please don't punch me."

Tommy squints, even though no one can see him.

"You do like Tubbo, right? And not as a friend, like, dating and shit."

"Please don't tell him?" Ranboo requests. "If I'm making him uncomfortable or something I can stop."

"Oh god. Not him too." Jack starts.

"You do not make him uncomfortable." Tommy says. "Ask him out. Please."

"I think you guys might be reading too much into things." Ranboo says.

"How?"

"I mean, we're married in game, but I don't think he really likes me like that. It's for the story."

"He said 'Loving is Easy' was your song." Jack says. "Which I resent, by the way. Pick something else."

"That was just cause I showed it to him, we aren't actually like that."

"He said you'd made him a romantic. Live. Twice." Tommy points out. "I know, cause he freaked out and I had to read about it the next morning."

"He only said that because of the songs! I like romantic music, I've been showing it to him." Ranboo says.

"Have you been showing it to him cause you like him?" Tommy asks.

"We don't have to talk about that." Ranboo replies sheepishly.

"I do. I do have to talk about that. Every day. C'mon."

"...Yeah, I have." Ranboo sighs. "Seriously, though, don't worry about giving me the shovel talk or anything. I'm not gonna make a move."

"Please. Ranboo, I am begging you." Tommy says. "Please make a move."

"...I'll think about it."

"No, you've got to do more than think about it." Jack says.

"You too?"

"Yeah? I mentioned the otamatone, right? The texting?"

Ranboo groans. "I'll talk to him. If you guys are sure? I don't want to make things weird."

"Yes." Tommy replies with certainty. "I am absolutely sure. This will make things less weird, at least for everyone else."

Ranboo chuckles awkwardly.

Jack changes the subject to a Mario Kart thing he's trying to put together for the next weekend, and they keep chopping trees until they've got enough. The call is quieter, especially since Ranboo is barely speaking. When Jack leaves for the night, Tommy pushes him again.

"You two are watching something after this, right?" He asks Ranboo.

"Yeah?"

Tommy takes a deep breath. His torment is going to be over soon.

"You got this, big R."

Ranboo laughs. "Thanks. We'll see about that." And he leaves the call.

And that's it. Tubbo spams him with a bunch of :D faces the next day, Ranboo makes an ambiguous tweet about being "incredibly happy and thankful for all the opportunities he's had," and they stop pining after each other live in front of him and all his viewers.

He is finally free.

* * *

A week later, they stream. Casual, but still a little lore. The old main house in Snowchester is getting renovated into a base for Tommy, now that Tubbo and Ranboo are moving into the mansion.

"Hey babe, can you bring me some dark oak saplings?" Tubbo asks. Ranboo hums affirmatively.

"What?" Tommy asks out loud. He resists the urge to dm them both and remind them he's live, because the frantic typing would definitely give them away.

"Don't act so shocked, Tommy! Ranboo and I are married!" Tubbo says. Tommy can practically hear his shit-eating grin.

"Yeah, Tommy!" Ranboo adds. "It'd be weird if I didn't call my husband a pet name or say his laugh is cute every now and then."

His chat is talking about what good friends Ranboo and Tubbo are.

"You think my laugh is cute?" Tubbo asks.

"Of course! You do this little breathy thing at then end, it's-"

Tommy mutes them.

What the fuck has he done?

**Author's Note:**

> tfw you try to free yourself from watching your friends pine, but accidentally condemn yourself to being the third wheel, and you can't even tell them to stop flirting
> 
> (also me continuing the tradition of writing a bunch of dialogue scenes and then loosely connecting them with via minecraft mechanics, furniture, and discord.)
> 
> i can't remember what or who but this was definitely inspired by a joke someone made offhand a few weeks ago- I wrote a few paragraphs and immediately forgot why. F.  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
